First off check it, these are all in my opinion or from my experience. I could be leaving something so important out & I could even be wrong. But to my self taught knowledge this is what it takes to snag a great man. Lastly my darlings this is about black men because that’s all I know. Wish I had learned more about other races but kinda satisfied with my persistent large search for a good black man. So here are 15 things I think you need to do to get a great king of a black man. Boop.
1. DO YOU
Baby girl listen, a happy woman has a vast social portfolio. If you’re not busy doing your own shit, go get you some business bitch. Every woman needs multiple social outlets; church, school, work, family, friends, volunteer, self care, hell go run errands. Just never forget you’re you. You’ll always be apart of someone else’s world. Prioritize you first. You can’t love someone if you’re not in love with yourself.
Love you first.
2. COMPLIMENT HIM
He works hard to be a confident man in this cold world, the best thing you can do is appreciate him. Everyone deserves praise. It’s a part of self evaluation. He wants to know he’s doing something right. My favorite compliment is to gas him up with a huge smile “Oh I see you. You got a hair cut & now you out here shining!” That’s not a classic compliment but I but it gets the job done. 😂 FRFR
3. CONFIDENCE 100% TIME
What’s worse overly confident or insecure. You’ll never hear a man say “She was so confident it was a turn off.” One of my biggest turnoffs are gross teeth and insecure men. Like way to challenge stereotypical gender roles you soft bitch. Get a grip of your feelings. I digress, but men hate to be questioned and constantly correcting or emotionally coaching his woman. Men are prideful. They love to have a woman that can command the attention of the room and assert herself respectfully. Make him proud of you by being your greatest self. Hell, you worked your entire life to be this bad ass bitch. Make sure the fucking world knows who the fuck YOU ARE.
4. DO SOMETHING CONSIDERATE
Nothing like a surprise gift. Buy him a large pack of his favorite gum or white tees. I like to invite him to a quick lunch. & I run to the bathroom to catch the waiter before she give the check and I pay. I think silence speaks volumes. So I don’t say anything until he ask where’s the check. I let the waiter say “She covered it” then I humbly nod yes. Nothing shows a man you’re in this, like simple tokens of love that’s he didn’t ask for.
5. DON’T FORCE IT
Look sis love finds you through osmosis. If you got to force shit, Blow him up, Remind him. Trust me sis, your gut has already told you push on. Do y’all both a favor and dip.
6. DON’T OVER DOSE HIM
In the great words of En Vogue “Oh my first mistake was I wanted to much time“. The best thing you can do for a man is give him a double dose of ‘HOLD ON, I’m occupied, until you need me!’
7. FLIRT SUBTLY
This is the easiest by far, I believe. Simple shit like mid day text with memes, gifs. A photo of your face that IG never sees. A lean over him to help buckle his seat belt. Letting him know you know he’s worthiness with small task.
8. HUMBLY BRAG OF SUCCESSES
This goes back to No. 6 & No. 1. A great Segway into your “humble brag” is what you were doing in the free time you had not over dosing him. “sorry I didn’t pick up, I was in the gym working out. ” Perfect amount of humility and brag.
9. I SET THE TONE & PACE
You don’t have to pick up every time he calls. But if you want him to pick up on the first ring darling then do the same. If he raises his voice, lower your tone, shit I whisper because I don’t do that domestic life. I say “We can respect one another or we can end this conversation.” Let him see you have control over your emotions and his.
10. LEAVE HIM FIRST, HANG UP FIRST: LEAVE HIM WANTING MORE
Nothing like absence to make a man miss you more. If you are always at his disposal he will do just that dispose of you. The greatest weapon any person on this earth has is the use of their time. No better way to exercise your power than with the use of your time. A miss call every now and again allows a man to check in with reality.
11. LOOK NICE
Remind him of what he has. He’ll remind everyone of what he has. But most of all do it for you. You need to know how great you are. You need to show yourself love. I think presentation is my greatest defenses when it comes to self love. If I go weeks without getting dressed up I lose momentum. It’s a wonderful reminder for you and him of what your highest potential is and how easily you can flex it. Do it for YOU bitch, he can reap the secondhand benefits. 🤣
12. MYSTERY ABOUT SELF
Listen bitch. Don’t let him come home the first night. Period. Now I didn’t say you can’t go to his house lol. You know see what he’s working with. But up until marriage take it slow. Girl if he hasn’t shown you don’t show him. Haven’t met his folks. Can’t meet yours. That goes for kids too.
13. SHOW HIM HOW TO COURT YOU
Invite him to open your door on the first date. If he doesn’t reach for it, wait outside a second and then as you enter giggle and excuse his behavior with a comment like “lol I guess I’ll open my door but next time that’s your job lol” Teach him. All the old girls never applied pressure that why he came to the game regular as hell. But not you honey I the means and the language to let a man know what you require up front. If it’s too much for you. That’s fine, Thank you, next.
14. SLOW & STEADY
I’m not sure where some of the relationships I rushed would have lasted. I have no clue if they ever would have worked or if I would have just been prolonging the inevitable. But I can be 1000% sure of this. If I would have taken my time I wouldn’t have missed so many red flags and would have giving myself time to reflect and enjoy. Slow and steady is a reinforcement that you’re not forcing it. Take your time darling. You only get one life. Don’t spend 6 years in a forced relationship and end up 33 desperate to be happy and single is your only resolution.
15. SMILE & ALWAYS POSITIVE
What a great way to top it all off. Smile bitch. You’re living your best life. No man wants a miserable bitch. Be happy. Be fun. Be someone he wants to spend his time with. Be someone you’d want to spend your time with.
How To Catch 🤴🏿His Eye Permanently